#29 Why So Hardcore Malaysia?

I don't know if you've heard about the whole Alvivi affair, on how they posted a picture of them wishing Muslims to break fast with Bak Kut Teh, full with the words "Wangi, Enak, Menyelerekan" and Halal logo next to it. No doubt it was probably meant as a joke. But it was perhaps a joke gone too far. Now, Alvin and Vivian are sitting in prison (having been denied bail) and awaiting trial in August. If found guilty, the face up to 15 years in jail. Can you imagine - 15 years in jail for a bad joke. Not so funny eh?

Popular sentiment seems to be that they deserve it. It's one thing for you to post sex pictures of yourself on the internet. But it's another to mock other people's beliefs.  Far from being ignorant and naive, it seems obvious that they knew exactly what they were doing. It was intentional. Do they deserve 15 years? I don't think so. But definitely, some punishment is due. The issue here isn't about freedom of speech. It is about being aware of other people's feelings. You are free to say what you want. But that also means you take responsibility of what you say, including the hurt and damage it causes to others.

But a brief note to the police and government - while you are at it preparing your charges against Alvivi, kindly also haul up and imprison those guys that stomped and threw a cow head into the Hindu temples a few years back too. Because that was no less insulting either. How come they just had to pay a fine? Oh, lets not forgot those guys who threw petrol bombs at churches too. If Alvin and Vivian deserve jail, so do they. In fact, they deserve much harsher punishments compared to Alvivi, because those were public and violent in nature. Furthermore, they were done in groups! Here you have Alvivi - lone ranger duo sitting in jail for a stupid joke they made while those organized group of extremist gets a slap on the wrist for being a naughty boy.

Here's the thing - since when did Malaysians become so hardcore? Why did Alvivi feel it was OK to make such a deliberate insult? Why did those guys feel justified throwing petrol bombs at churches. Why? Did stomping all the cow heads seem OK?

Since when did Malaysians have so little empathy for each other? Muslims the world over got angry at the Prophet Muhammad caricatures a few years ago. Surely they understood how it feels to have something holy to you be insulted. So why insult others in the same way? And Alvivi, surely they knew how sensitive these issues of Halal and Puasa are here in Malaysia. So why make such a joke? If you wanted attention, you sure got it now.

I don't remember Malaysians being this hardcore when I was growing up. It feels as if we have taken many step backwards as a society. I always felt that we were a progressive society. 'Moderate' was the term always thrown around when describing our country. But now, it seems Malaysians aren't as moderate anymore. Think of Bersih 1,2,3,4, the Lynas protest, the black parade. All those who went to the rallies wanted to make a statement. They wanted to be heard. But they felt that the ONLY way it would go through would be by doing something dramatic, something extreme before others will even start to listen them.

That's what it all boils down to doesn't it? Malaysian have forgotten how to listen. We don't know how to empathise with our neighbours any more. We don't feel like others understand us either. And so we feel compelled to make ourselves heard - in whatever way we can think of, like stomping on a cows head, throwing petrol bombs, marching in the thousands and even making inappropriate religious jokes on Facebook.

Alvin and Vivian do deserve punishment. But punishing them will not solve the problem. They aren't the problem. WE ARE. .Because we created them. They are the ugly product of our insensitivity.

In some ways, we are a mini little Arab spring in the making. People shouldn't feel the need to do something crazy just to be heard. Before that happens, we really need to start shutting our mouths a bit more and start listening to one another. How about that for a national reconciliation plan.

#28 Gone

Weeks since my last email to you, months since your last posting, even more months since I last heard from you at all.

I presume - you must be gone.

I guess we never got to say goodbye. But then again, we never got to say hello either. We remained strangers till the very end. I tried googling for you. I tried all sorts of key words, but couldn't find anything. All I have is your anonymous emails, a thumbnail picture of you, and a chat history where you told me your secrets.
Yes, that's how this all started didn't it? You read my secrets. And you invited me to read yours. And we became these two anonymous strangers who shared secrets with one another. You said you prefered the anonymity. You said it made you free to express yourself with no inhibitions. What I didn't tell you was that I couldn't do it. I couldn't get to know you more and more and still be kept at one corner like a stranger. You wanted me to be your anonymous confidant, your online lover, your boyfriend that you'd never meet. For many reasons, I couldn't do it. While it is true at the beginning that all I wanted was a scandal or fling, like I told you later, all I really wanted was to be your friend.

When you told me you were dying, I immediately asked to meet you. You said no. Instead you sent me a picture of you, with your real name. Maybe you thought it would just complicate your life even more. I respected that. But I hope you know, all I really wanted to do was to meet you and talk to you, even if just for a little while in person. I needed to see you in the flesh, so that this virtual friendship, short as it may be, could translate to reality.

Did you worry that I might try to make you fall for me? I wasn't going to. Did you worry that you'd fall for me anyway? You wouldn't have. I could tell that you were still in love with your ex lover. It was one of the things we shared in common after all.

Whatever it was, its over now. Thank you for what you shared with me, for telling me a bit of your life's story - your illness, your father, your lover. It is tragic that kind souls like you lived such short lives. You baffled me with you attachment to you ex, but you amazed me with you bravery in death.

I promised you back then that I'd remember you. Even if it's just a name and a thumbnail picture, I still intend to.

The silent sufferer,
selfless soul,
worry no more,
about the troubles of this world.

#27 Bad Dreams

Maybe I've been too engrossed with work. I had my first 'professional' nightmare last night. I dreamt that business was bad. That competitors came and scooped up orders from under our noses. I dreamt that former colleagues colluded with competitors and sold confidential information. Only these weren't really dreams. They were real life events from office. They were invading me even in my sleep.

I tossed and turned the rest of the night and by the time I woke up, I felt more tired than before I went to sleep.

I remember listening to people talking about how here in Asia, people's whole lives get consumed by their work. I never really thought much about it then. But without even realizing it, I have become the epitome of just that.