#5 Your Not So Special Wedding

So did you hear about Lin Dan's wedding? It's considered the wedding of the century in China apparently. Ten thousand white roses, one thousand guest, ten florist, two diamond rings and one very expensive wedding dress. And you thought Will & Kate was gonna be the only grand wedding this year. 

It's that time of the year again - wedding season - where if you are of that age, everyone around you is busy throwing their dream wedding. A time where the women turn Bridezilla and men turn,well....poorer.

I just attended a wedding (ever so slightly less grand than Lin Dan's of course), which from what I saw, was very close to becoming a disaster. Poor planing, poor coordination, and a bridge on the brink of a meltdown that threatened to ruin it all. Fussing too much over the small details, not communicating with everyone properly, throwing tantrums, I was amazed the wedding went through. 

But on the back of this, I do feel compelled to say a few things to all the potential bride-to-be's out there.

Firstly, don't fret too much. And secondly, just smile and be happy. 

Yes you plan and plan. But despite even all the best laid plans, things always do get a bit haywire the nearer your wedding looms. It's just how things are. Stay calm. Learn to let some things go. It's OK if the cards aren't perfect. It's OK if the flowers aren't the right colour. It's OK if the guest arrive late. Don't bother changing dresses over the banquet dinner because frankly, no one cares. In fact, you will find that no one cares that much about your wedding beyond your spouse, your immediate family and closest friends. To everyone else, this will be the 5th wedding in 4 weeks they will be attending. 

And just in case you think that's all the more reason for you to throw the grandest, fanciest, most memorable wedding compared to everyone else this year - save it. It is folly to try to even go there. Even if you manage to make it out of this world, someone already has or will beat you to it. Someone out there will already have hosted the perfect beach, garden, ballroom, outdoor or pool side wedding, grander, fancier, more luxurious and more awesome than yours.

People (here at least) are generally quite forgiving of things. They won't complain if the food was cold, or that the ballroom was dark, or that the band was lousy. They come not because they think they are in for a treat. They come because they want to celebrate you and your spouse. And to them that simply means - shut up, don't complain, smile and be happy for them. Which is exactly the same thing I'd like to say to the bride-to-be - shut up, don't complain, smile and be happy. It's a day of celebration. So show everyone that you are celebrating. You're suppose to act like you've just won the lottery! (erm... not that the odds of you getting married was that bad). The best wedding's I've been to are the one where both bride and groom smile and laugh the most will all their guest. Their happiness is so contagious that even you even start feeling less guilty about eating one more bowl of shark fin soup. 

Here's the thing - in the grander scheme of things - none of it matters. Your wedding isn't that big a deal.  Most people will have forgotten whose wedding they attended by Christmas. Sorry, that's the truth. But that's also a good thing. You see, a great wedding isn't the same as a great marriage. People only see the wedding. Not many get to see the marriage. And plenty of marriages fall apart, regardless of the wedding cost. It's sad that people spend tens of thousands of dollars getting together then forget that the rest of the 99% is about staying together. 

If you ask me, take that money and go on a month long holiday just the two of you. Backpack in Europe or climb the hills in New Zealand or bungee jump from the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco - anything that will become a powerful shared memory between the two of you for the rest of your life. Something to be called upon during hard times, when you forget when you married this person in the first place. Who cares what your aunt Rose thought about the wedding band.

You may think this is just another guy trying to give men another excuse to worm their way out of paying for a proper wedding (and you wouldn't be very wrong). 

But look at it this way; you don't need convince anyone of how special your wedding is. It probably is not. 

But you do need to be convinced on how special your husband is. He probably is. So celebrate that. 

 

You are marrying him for a reason right? 

#4 Flying & Its Annoyances

Greetings from Bangkok. Traveling is fun. Flying isn't. Well, it is for the first few times that is. But after you've gotten over the novelty of it all, it really becomes sometime you don't find exciting.

I always get the feeling like I'm being herded around. Line up at the check in, line up at security, line up at immigration, line up at boarding gate, line up to the plane. Sit a few hours in a cramped up seat with no leg space, then line up more. 

There is the issue of your seat. When you are a new flyer, you always want the window seat. It's fun watching the plane take off and land. And no other time will you get to stare and admire the beautiful sky 30,000 feet above ground. When you've flown more times than you are count, you always want the aisle seat. It's the nearest you get to the beautiful air stewardess, but more importantly, more convenient to go to the toilet. The centre seats are where they put you when they hate you. The spot where watching the window feels like you are staring at the guy to your left and going to the toilet means bothering the guy on your right. They both take their revenge on you by hogging the arm rest, so you end up with nowhere to put your elbow. Just shrink into the centre, don't stare, don't pee... just suffer. Yes, I sat in the centre today just in case you were wondering.  

I hate the in-flight meals. Not that their not tasty. They are usually pretty decent. But the portions are small. And the plastic cutlery feels like it was made to lift tofu only, nothing heavier. God help you if you are served something with some bone in it. Then again, I've never rated any food in a flight with bone in it. Maybe its a security risk. Who knows if the whole plane gets hijacked by terrorist at the tip of a fish bone. Gasp. 

Eating in your seat is one of those things that annoy me the most. The food is placed neatly into a tray that's size to fit exactly those few things - you can spread your food out. You can't extend you elbows because then you're encroaching on your neighbors space. I become terrified that I'd either spill something over or on myself. There I find myself keeping my elbows as close as possible while trying to handle impossibly brittle cutlery to eat food served on a tiny tray on a tiny foldable table (if you can even call it that). So delicate a process it becomes. 

What the hell man... I'm eating breakfast, not defusing a bomb. Someone should suggest to the airlines to just serve food in wraps.

Finally, it annoys the hell out of me when some people just decide to get up and rush to bring down their hand luggage the minute the plane stops. They jostle out of the rows and rush to the overhead compartments like there is no tomorrow, grab their bags.... then nothing. They stand there with their bags staring into nothingness. What the hell man. The doors aren't even open yet. Can't you chill? Now I can't get to my bag, and you standing there means I'm staring squarely at your crotch. Grrr....

Anyway, that's all for now. Cheers!